Team Abs vs Team Assholes
by VioletDragonian
Summary: It's a hot Saturday, team SSSN is bored and team CRDL are jerks. Bunny bullying isn't tolerated here, therefore team CRDL must be taught a lesson in manners. Using math, of course. (This was a good idea at first but I wrote it on no sleep so it became a crackfic so have fun, I own nothing)


**A/N**

**This is the result of a fever and insomnia. I'm not sorry.**

**I know Scarlet and Sage haven't had their personalities revealed yet, so I just sort of figured Scarlet acts kinda like Weiss and Sage is more like Ren.**

**Now have fun reading my good-idea-turned-crackfic**

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><p>"I'm booooored."<p>

Neptune sighed, looking over his book at his blonde companion. "Sun, we've been out here for ten minutes."

"I'm still bored." The Faunus was going back and forth between watching their other two teammates spar on the grass nearby and watching the fluffy clouds above lazily drift by. Neptune rolled his eyes and went back to the book, while Sun rolled over onto his stomach and grumbled about being bored again. It was a slightly warmer-than-comfortable Saturday, the rest of the students at Beacon were either in town most likely getting ice cream, or lazing about in their dorms or the courtyard, like team SSSN currently was doing.

Neptune himself was propped against a tree and Sun was in the shade next to him, while Sage and Scarlet practiced hand to hand combat, despite everyone else who saw them telling them they were insane for doing that on a hot day like this. Sun groaned and rolled over again, while Neptune ignored him and peeked over his book at the other two just in time to see Scarlet hit Sage with a rather sturdy punch. The taller male stumbled back and rubbed his cheek while Scarlet just blinked. "Oops. I thought you would dodge that."

"Wow Scarlet, so mean." Neptune commented, causing Scarlet to glare at him.

"Shut up, fishface."

"Jerk."

"Boooooooooooooored."

"Sun we don't care."

Sage just sighed at the other three bickering, though it was a friendly kind. Neptune gave up the idea of being able to read his book and set it down, while Sun just rolled over again and ended up rolling down the hill behind the tree. The three listened as the Faunus rolled farther and farther away, until they heard a distant "ow." as their bored leader collided with a tree farther down, no doubt. Scarlet facepalmed and marched over the hill after him, muttering an "I'll get him."

Once the grumpy redhead was out of sight, Sage sat down next to Neptune in the shade. Falling into silence with the two louder members of the team on the other side of the courtyard, they watched a few other students walking around ahead. This particular area of the courtyard was beside both the cafeteria and the library, making it one of the more populated areas of the campus at the moment. While most of the students were avoiding the heat, others were smartly using their weekend to study, some teams gathered on the benches or under the trees outside the library with notebooks all around them.

Of course, then there were _other teams_ that weren't smart enough to study on weekends, much less know what libraries were for.

Without a word, Neptune and Sage both got to their feet with glares when they spotted team CRDL, marching up like they owned the place and shoving other students aside as they went. They stopped by one of the trees beside the cafeteria, under which an unsuspecting student with familiarly cute, twitchy brown bunny ears could be seen absorbed in her homework. "Damn it Velvet, why are you alone with those jerks around?" Neptune muttered. Sage just nodded in agreement.

"Ow ow ow Scarlet staahp." Sun complained in a whiny voice as the redhead dragged him back up the hill, fingers dug into the Faunus's hair.

"Don't act like an idiot then."

They fell silent when they spotted the way Neptune and Sage were glaring toward the cafeteria, though, and Scarlet released his hold on Sun's hair so they could join their teammates and see what was up. The sight of Cardin tugging at a distressed Velvet's ears again was explanation enough.

"Sooooo… Can we be not bored now and beat them up?" Sun turned to his team, eyes sparkling partially from anger at the bullying of the gentle Faunus girl and partially from excitement over something fun to do finally.

"Way ahead of you." Sage was cracking his knuckles, and Neptune nodded. Scarlet was probably imagining what the best methods of torture for the bullies would be. Nothing else was said between them as they walked toward the growing commotion, since Cardin's teammates were now picking on other lone students, while the other teams they'd seen before had vacated the area.

"Release the bun and we may show mercy." Sun growled once they were close enough to be heard.

"Eh, what?" Cardin and his team turned, staring at the four other guys standing nearby threateningly. "Oh, it's you dweebs."

"Hey hey, only that one's a dweeb!" Sun exclaimed, pointing a finger at Neptune. "Actually, he's more of a nerd…"

"For the last time Sun, it's _intellectual, _thank you." The blue haired male shot back.

"Yeah, you're definitely all dweebs." Cardin released Velvet's ear, and the Faunus girl immediately bounded out of reach, holding her ears protectively. "Come on guys, let's show these twerps their place."

The rest of his team stepped up, chuckling darkly. Scarlet just rolled his eyes at them, unimpressed, and Sun spoke again. "Oh you're going to regret picking a fight with us."

The first one to move was Sun, who launched forward with a sort of overdramatic flying face kick that sent Cardin a few feet backward. After that, Russel made the grave mistake of trying to punch Scarlet, which was easily dodged and then met with a groin kick that sent the bully to the ground. Sage just punched Dove and knocked him over. Neptune was prancing around in circles dodging punches from Sky while doing math out loud.

"... That's it? Really?" Sun looked around at the defeated bullies sprawled in the grass. Well, three of the bullies, anyway. The forth one was now being chased around by Neptune, who had moved on to spouting strings of pi while his unfortunate victim was screaming something, probably about the fact he didn't want to learn anything and wanted his brain to remain pea sized forever. "Well that was anticlimactic."

"Well, what did you expect?" Scarlet asked. "Their favorite victim is a bunny."

Sun was about to reply when a new voice spoke up from behind them. "Well, this is quite the mess you've made here, team SSSN."

"Oh, uhhh.." Sun jumped at the appearance of Glynda, who was stoically glancing around at team carnage on the grass. "Hello, professor Goodwitch."

Glynda had her back to the part of the courtyard they were resting in earlier, and Scarlet had to clamp a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing when he spotted his blue haired teammate still chasing Sky around in the distance behind her, the faint echo of equations still drifting along from him.

"Are we in trouble?" Sage asked directly, making the fur on Sun's tail spike at the straightforward question to a professor.

"Hmm.." Glynda hummed as she looked around again, then started to walk away. "I don't see anything wrong here, but you should clean up your trash. Littering on campus is prohibited."


End file.
